C
Courage - Curiosity
Courage
Saying the hard thing; taking responsibility; holding ourselves accountable; standing apart from the crowd; doing the next best right thing.
That’s courage. It’s rarely a gesture of grandeur. It’s almost never noticed by others.
It’s more often noticed by us, when we compare yester-you with today-you.
It’s noticeable when we take advantage of safety and walk away from being harmed by others.
It’s noticeable when we speak out rather than remain silent.
It’s noticeable when we can say, “I did that, and I’m sorry.”
And, sometimes it’s just being able to wake up in the morning and say, “I am enough.”
That’s courage in its everyday, every-human form.
And, if we can’t do any of those things, and just recognize that at some point we’ll have to, well, that’s courage too.
See: fear, vulnerability, experiment, hope, shame, boundaries, risk.
Creativity
Creativity is the meal we put together when we get curious about what’s in the fridge. The point isn’t to impress anyone. It’s to see what becomes possible when we play with what we’ve got.
It’s a little bit of presence, a little bit of wonder, a dash of experience, a pinch of play, and “presto!”, a meal is born.
Sometimes it’s not pretty. Sometimes we wonder how we ever lived without it.
See: curiosity, play, experiment, courage, flow, enough.
Critique
While criticism looks for flaws, critique seeks possibilities.
It’s more art than argument. More engaged with than examined from above.
Critique is safest inside a healthy relationship, which may be why we often default to criticism instead. It’s just easier and less risky.
To critique someone is to say,
“I care enough to walk with you through this, learn from it, grow from it. Whatever it is, it’s not the end and we’ll see it through.”
See: curiosity, compassion, perfectionism, shame, feedback.
Curiosity
Curiosity makes people nervous, and, apparently, kills cats.
The heart of curiosity lies in the question “why?”
Why am I like this…
Why is the world this way…
Why do I believe this…
Why do I do the things I do…
Many of us get defensive at the first mention of why. I think that’s because we assume we’ll have to offer a rationale for our actions or ideas. That can be uncomfortable for many of us.
Curiosity in its “why” form is fairly benign. Sure, it can be a little uncomfortable, but if that’s all it is, then it’s more distraction than revolution.
Revolution happens when curiosity takes its what if form.
What if I’m missing something…
What if I listen instead of argue back…
What if I say hello or express what I really want right now…
What if I apologize instead of always assuming I’m right…
What if I tell them their joke was racist, or their idea is rooted in misogyny…
Curiosity becomes fully embodied when it moves into its “what if” stage. It gains a thoughtfulness, a pair of legs, and a set of lungs.
It leans on “tell me more,” “help me understand,” and “I don’t want to be this way anymore.”
It causes trouble for anxieties and shame by leaning into what happens next rather than away from it.
It might just be the single most important factor in growth, formation, experimentation, and creativity.
And, maybe it does kill cats… the kind of sacred, arrogant, I-don’t-need-you kinds of cats that live in our hearts and minds and keep us from becoming the people we could become.
See: experiment, data, doubt, play, courage, humility, stories.